"Someone feed the monkey while I dig in search of China,
White as Dracula as I approach the bottom"
I am not happy in this world.
However, for most of the time, I am completely optimistic. I maintain an enthralled state with most things. I'm easily entertained for the most part.
I strongly believe that this life has a purpose, whether we discover it in due time or not...
But when fiction meets fact...a cataclysm of worry overtakes me. My heart aches for a fictional existence...Not completely or irrevocably, just enough to be able to slip in and out of worlds. Because when fiction overtakes fact, the elation is temporary... but ever so fulfilling...
"Desperate and ravenous,
So weak and powerless,
Over you"
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Musings and writings...
1. I'm not perfect like It is. One day I'm going to stop listening to It and simply dissolve away where It can't see me anymore in all my blatant imperfection. It makes me write blogs that don't get published. Half written rants, un-thought out poems and direct questions...
2. What am I to do when flesh and blood are making the same mistakes I did...and all I can do is get angry? I don't know how to respond, so I pretend I don't know. But I just want to scream at the top of my lungs (and the bottom, and the sides...) that I know. I understand. I want to envelop my flesh and blood into my arms and say it's okay...not yell and cry and fight.
3. When decision making fails you, once again.
4. They didn't believe that I could do it...yet I still foolishly believe I can?
5. For every task that didn't make sense.
6. When you pray so hard for all the souls in purgatory...can all the prayers in the world save them from the way the afterlife punishes for suicide and lives of general sin?
__________
Act Two – Scene 2
Disjointed murmurs, shouts and everyday conversation agitate the moment.
She must put on a brave face, and look up to a world that wants to bring her down.
Step, after agonising step, she trudges through the throng with absolute anonymity…
__________
?
2. What am I to do when flesh and blood are making the same mistakes I did...and all I can do is get angry? I don't know how to respond, so I pretend I don't know. But I just want to scream at the top of my lungs (and the bottom, and the sides...) that I know. I understand. I want to envelop my flesh and blood into my arms and say it's okay...not yell and cry and fight.
3. When decision making fails you, once again.
4. They didn't believe that I could do it...yet I still foolishly believe I can?
5. For every task that didn't make sense.
6. When you pray so hard for all the souls in purgatory...can all the prayers in the world save them from the way the afterlife punishes for suicide and lives of general sin?
__________
Act Two – Scene 2
Disjointed murmurs, shouts and everyday conversation agitate the moment.
She must put on a brave face, and look up to a world that wants to bring her down.
Step, after agonising step, she trudges through the throng with absolute anonymity…
__________
?
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Toast
Burnt toast tastes like the feeling of being in an unfamiliar house...
you haven't quite yet grasped the nuances of working this foreign toaster.
you haven't quite yet grasped the nuances of working this foreign toaster.
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