I feel so tired.
But a good kind of tired (I think).
The kind of tired that comes from doing all your homework and cleaning up your room.
I finally removed all the paper off the floor. No I wasn't trying to protect the surface (lol), it just ended up there...accumulating...carpeting...eventually impeding my movement...but nonetheless, it's gone.
I still have a little fixing up to do tomorrow of the little things that I couldn't decide where to put and such. Need to throw away the paper in my rubbish basket and also the two plastic bags filled with other stuff I'm throwing away.
Reading over past work and thoughts on scraps of paper is always emotionally draining for me. I find myself wishing myself back into another time, another place...and hence save the article- nomatter how trivial- which connects me to that place.
I opened up a little Blue Bear diary I have (one of those things to put addresses and have dates written in etc...) and found on one of the weekly planner pages something relatively profound I had scrawled on one of the pages a few years ago in metallic pink gel pen. Something along the lines of, "How can I plan tomorrow, when I don't even know if it exists?"
It made me kind of laugh at how much of a morbid person I was and still am...
But yeah...back to the main idea of this blog...
In conclusion, I am tired. Therefore, I am going to bed.
Goodnight *waves*.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
Failure.
fail·ure
–noun
1. an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success: His effort ended in failure. The campaign was a failure.
2. nonperformance of something due, required, or expected: a failure to do what one has promised; a failure to appear.
3. a subnormal quantity or quality; an insufficiency: the failure of crops.
4. deterioration or decay, esp. of vigor, strength, etc.: The failure of her health made retirement necessary.
Feeling a little disheartened and inspired at the same time...Strange... :
My bedroom is basically an imprint of my brain;
1. Cluttered. Randoms bits of information and history in the least organised places. Brain/Bedroom will therefore not function to it's regular efficient capabilities, but rather lags like a computer with not enough RAM and twenty four windows open.
2. Is a source of comfort. Many people like to think certain issues over; I've learned to on occasions ignore issues and pretend they don't exist in an attempt to prevent the guilt and general negative feelings. At the end of the day, I've escaped into my head, and I have a bed to curl up and read in.
3. I have three clocks that do not having running batteries in them. I put away the one with the pendulum that I used to swing for fun in an attempt to simulate a living, working clock...but somehow I remain informed of time through my mobile. I like time. I like looking at the time. Apparently there's this thing on my dad's side of the family that makes us have good internal clocks. I'd like to believe I have that...I'm pretty good at guessing the time, therefore, the unworking clocks are not as big of an issue as they seem to be.
4. It has musical capabilities. I feel like I'm advertising some new mobile phone or something...but really, the brain/room do.
"She looks to be that crazy weird girl you met in high school that was always making paper dolls- You kind of wanted to ask her out on a date, but you were afraid she would whip out the 7inch knife and hack you to pieces in the car after the grindhouse triple feature."
–noun
1. an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success: His effort ended in failure. The campaign was a failure.
2. nonperformance of something due, required, or expected: a failure to do what one has promised; a failure to appear.
3. a subnormal quantity or quality; an insufficiency: the failure of crops.
4. deterioration or decay, esp. of vigor, strength, etc.: The failure of her health made retirement necessary.
Feeling a little disheartened and inspired at the same time...Strange... :
My bedroom is basically an imprint of my brain;
1. Cluttered. Randoms bits of information and history in the least organised places. Brain/Bedroom will therefore not function to it's regular efficient capabilities, but rather lags like a computer with not enough RAM and twenty four windows open.
2. Is a source of comfort. Many people like to think certain issues over; I've learned to on occasions ignore issues and pretend they don't exist in an attempt to prevent the guilt and general negative feelings. At the end of the day, I've escaped into my head, and I have a bed to curl up and read in.
3. I have three clocks that do not having running batteries in them. I put away the one with the pendulum that I used to swing for fun in an attempt to simulate a living, working clock...but somehow I remain informed of time through my mobile. I like time. I like looking at the time. Apparently there's this thing on my dad's side of the family that makes us have good internal clocks. I'd like to believe I have that...I'm pretty good at guessing the time, therefore, the unworking clocks are not as big of an issue as they seem to be.
4. It has musical capabilities. I feel like I'm advertising some new mobile phone or something...but really, the brain/room do.
"She looks to be that crazy weird girl you met in high school that was always making paper dolls- You kind of wanted to ask her out on a date, but you were afraid she would whip out the 7inch knife and hack you to pieces in the car after the grindhouse triple feature."
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