Apocalypse Please.

"- So it was only once you'd got into piano playing that you embraced the more technical, classical side of things?

Yes. I don't know why that is, but I think it could be something to do with the early 20th century piano music [that I was listening to]. It's very emotional but at the same time quite technical as well. I found that an interesting concept because with the guitar it seemed you could only be either emotional or technical, and it seemed you couldn't do both. But the piano helped me understand that it was possible to make music that was technical and also emotional at the same time. So for that reason I think the piano playing started to influence the songwriting on Origin of Symmetry, and probably a lot more on this album as well. It obviously has an influence on the way I'm thinking about playing chords on the guitar too. "

That is rather interesting.
In some ways...I can agree with that, and in others I can't. But it definitely caught my eye, how a piano can be more emotive while still being technical...
But then...you haven't heard beautiful, technical guitar music if you agree with it completely.

I think it's the common approach to the two instruments however...
Piano's are placed in higher esteem; there's a certain aura, a certain level one must attain to be deemed a good pianist, usually through the aquirement of technical skills and possibly harder yet, the ability to create feeling.
Guitar's on the other hand, are synonymous with various genres of rock music. To be deemed a good guitarist, one must either be technically skilled enough to wow people, or play with enough emotion, so as to be deemed technically skilled. But this is not always the case. This is when you get the real beauty. When you fuse skill with feeling and you get something so freeing. Maybe it's angry, maybe it's happy, or sad, or violent or nonchalant...but it's definitely something.

Bellamy talks prior to this of how some songs, were first written on piano. He fed off the contrast. There is SO much contrast in the instruments. They can play the same things, then they simply can't at the same time.
I've discovered that I can't play the piano to make it sound like a guitar. It sounds so empty to me, while the guitar sounds so brilliantly full. I can't explain it.

I wish I could play both like they were equally alive within me....

Manifest.

My first post of September...
I really haven't blogged in ages. Well, it feels like ages...

But right now, I need some catharsis. So I'm doing what I know.
I'm curled up in a foetal-like ball, listening to John Mayer and blogging. That is comfort for me.

I came back from Sara's party and it was lovely. I met some awesome people and had a lot of fun. But I cannot help but be plagued by odd thoughts that make me feel uneasy.

Maybe I'm looking too far into a lot of stuff and dwelling. My horoscope seems to think these weekend is cosmically fuss-free and that I should be happy, but since when did I listen to horoscopes anyways?

In the past couple of months...weeks...I don't know...I found myself insanely attracted to a vampire. He doesn't suck my life force at all. And today his actions made perfect sense. I had rationalised them in my head...but why did I react the way I did? Why am I so withdrawn? He scares me but he excites me at the same time. I feel like I'm being reborn yet killed at the same time when I see him.

I feel like a little girl a lot of the time, and who's to say I'm not? I am. I might have breasts and hips and am capable of making babies, but that doesn't make me a grown up woman.

This week in general ...*sigh*....so many questions and so many worries...just all piled up and exploded. The morbid music did *not* help my mental state either. Sometimes it did help...sometimes it just made me feel worse.

But I still have tomorrow.
Tomorrow is a new day after all.
I don't have to look in mirrors and see low self esteem manifesting itself.