Foolishly Optimistic

"There is thing keeping everyone's lung and lips locked. It is called fear and it's seeing a great rennaissance." - 'Sing' by The Dresden Dolls.

I'm afraid. I'm deathly afraid. To the point where I think I'm going to begin and then stop. Where I'm going to face the turning point and want to run. But there is no way back. Time doesn't stop and it definitely doesn't go backwards.

So,

I write.

I write and record. So maybe when I get to that turning point in my life, I'll still have the past there, to show for something. At least I'll have concrete proof that I lived. I don't want to be left with just empty spaces within my head. Empty boxes that say "memories deleted". Because I forget everything.

A slight exaggeration, I know, but really...my memory is not to be trusted. It plays it's own games, and twists things around, so that two years ago seems like five.

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"Just Sing." - 'Sing' by The Dresden Dolls

This is honesty:

I don't think I write in any diaries anymore because it's easier to type.

I don't think I write poems anymore because it's easier to blog.

I don't think I do my homework at home a lot, because it's easier to be lazy.

I'm never going to be the best. So people will always be disappointed in me.

I hate disappointment, so

...I don't give up easily
...so in the end it makes me

...foolishly optimistic.



Sometimes I "just sing". And sometimes I don't sing at all because of what people tell me about other people.

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"Love’s not good enough, I want photographs. Something that will stand the test of...time and time again." - 'Bank Of Boston Beauty Queen' by The Dresden Dolls.