sabbatical

Uni is going quite well, in the past few days I've returned =]. I'm making small movements and changes and I feel quite proud of myself, to accomplish such small things because I need to start small again. Whilst it feels like I'm still in Year 6 at the moment (getting to know myself increasingly well due to the fact that I have no one else to get to know), I realised that by the end of Year 6, I did make friends anyways. So in a way, I hope this is just history repeating itself. Once I started high school I had many friends, I had musical epiphanies and a new love for life. I became energised, and eventually coaxed myself into becoming a little more extroverted. I think maybe this theory is true because it makes sense for life to be cyclical. And seven is a very important number. The sabbath day - on the seventh day, God rested. He had built his wonders, and took a break. After years of work, people often take a sabbatical - a whole year of not working. This year has felt like my sabbatical for so long. I even wrote about it on paper which I rarely seem to do. I could never pinpoint why, but I believe now it's just to do with cycles. I felt my whole self withdrawing from the things I had built up in the years prior. My walls came down very quickly, and I soon patched them up, haphazardly, trying to remember how they had been arranged before..but it didn't work as well as a slow patchwork. I had no time to confer with maps or memories. And so I made rash decisions, that seemed to be based on ideas of quick, self preservation. There was no long term plan, so to speak. And in such a way, this isn't really a sabbatical - it wasn't planned, it was brought upon me. I feel like now I have a chance to pause and rebuild properly though. I'm very grateful for such a chance.