I'll be your best kept secret, and your biggest mistake.

Music is forever a driving factor in my life.

I think, that if it wasn't there, I would probably die a sad and lonely person. But then I think, that if I hadn't discovered the wonders of it, I'd have no regret, and would probably find something else to be fulfilled with.

But that's the thing, I'd have to be a COMPLETELY different person.

It's a funny thing, music is. Most of the time, I love it. It's something to connect to, something that shares an emotion, something that might say something funny or profound. Sounds, notes, words...they all the have these infinite powers, and how they are interpreted are all up to the listener. Sometimes it makes me upset though. Not even just through the emotional aspect of a sad song, but just because it's there. Just because it *is* that driving force in my life.

Just because it's a mountain I'm trying to climb, but I'm never satisfied with how far I've gotten. It highlights how upset I am with myself, in other aspects of my life. It tears open the wounds, and reveals the flesh and blood and just leaves you there stranded. This one thing...this thing you counted on, as something that would be there forever...it makes you rethink your real achievement and says you're not good enough. Those are the times that make me hate it.

But it's not music's fault. It's not, whatever 'it' is. Music is an entity which embodies other things. In comes in different forms, and some of them I simply cannot handle sometimes. It's when you get the people, involved in the music, that's when it often starts to suck, but more often then not, it does enrich the cause. Seriously, it does.

I seem to be all doom and gloom, but without the people, there'd be nothing to show for it. There'd be notes never discovered, and never written down. Never performed as an art, never revered. I love the passion in it. I love the creativity. I hate it when I can't have some of it too.

I'm annoyed at the mentality sometimes, that what is old is fantastic (and what is new is crap or vice versa, old=crap, new=good). I mean, in a way, I understand it completely. Antiques, are worth a lot of money, because they are relics of the past, they are a part of a time gone, a history. But with music, I just want people to like music for what it is, not for what people say it is. When people give me the excuse "but it's a classic" that doesn't tell me much at all. In any artform, not even just music. It tells me it's an old song/movie/piece/artwork etc. but doesn't tell me anything about it's merits. People seem to like things just because other people said it was cool. It became a 'classic' because someone found something in it that was awesome, and spread the word, which other people agreed with. But when you start telling me you like things simply for it's popularity, don't you think you've become just as bad as the people drinking in the consumerist arts of the now? Great lovers of these 'classics' often sneer down their noses of people who enjoy new contributions to their art of choice, but in the end, it just doesn't make sense to me.

I am not saying, what's old and classic is bad, nor am I saying what is new and faddish is bad either. I just wish time were not so segregated. I'll use a Studies Of Religion word, "metatemporal". I want the past, the future, the now, to combine as one in the arts, so that people aren't casting off things due to the opinions of others. I just want people to use their senses. See. Hear. Touch. Taste. Smell. Don't walk around completely blind to what is in front of you.

Experience and form an opinion.

I can't seem to find the right words to say what I feel right now. It's all a jumble. I just want things to be fair.
Yeah, in the end, that's all what I want.
Equality. Fairness. Free-thinking.
Never give in to what other people tell you, you should believe. Think about it before agreeing or disagreeing, because it's just as rude to let someone down without proper reasoning.