Plans

In all seriousness, I feel the importance for me to get away for a while.
While often people want to escape from the people they know, the people who love them and the people they love and subsequently find themselves far away from all the important things to them - I don't feel like this is one of those escapes. I appreciate the here and now so much that I need to go away and better myself to feel worthy and happy here.
I won't be able to leave for a little while though. But when I'm gone, you'll know. And you'll know I'll be back too. I need to regain myself. Or develop some confidence through the unpredictable situations of consequence. Go explore and adventure and start again so I can come back and fully function the way I want to. I'm sick of halves - half existences. But right now, I'll just plan this exit. I don't know how other people can live amongst the same forever. I need a break from normality. I need difficulty and challenges and a way to prove to myself that I am alive. That all these things I hide can exist here. That I can speak and be heard. Or at least not be afraid to speak.